Sleep

Tossed and turned first due to temperature issues, then to pee ... then to contend with aches throughout my back and getting the pillows in the right location for my legs ... by then it was 5:30 and I was unable to go back to sleep. Tried meditating to the true place where there is peace, serenity, love, connection ... only to be hounded by fret over not being able to fall back asleep before my alarm went off. Since the urge to journal kept surfacing, I took it as a sign to go back to morning pages. Yesterday I woke in a bad mood. Also had a restless night's sleep, and annoyed the day was beautiful, but I was unrested and cranky. Dissatisfied with not doing enough fun things with Bill for months now. He only wants to work on projects all day and I'm bursting for desires for adventure and fun. I am reminded of his aches and pains with his knee ... and there has been my recovery from my foot and shoulder ... not to mention just wanting to relax over the weekend from hectic weeks. Made most oof time to catch up from work sometimes also and to squeeze in much needed naps. Moping that perhaps it's only me... upset my limitations have kept me from delving into painting lessons and fussing over my plants. Then i recall I have again 'lost my religion" only to remember the one that was already in place before i wandered and detoured through the cave of mazes. Recalling these mazes are only illusions, I remember to be vigilant to ACIM; knowing I'm the dreamer who made all this up. Which means work. To observe my thoughts especailly that of judgment. Everytime I say "you" in a victim connotation, I try to recall it's a symptom of resistance which is I'm choosing with the egoo because I'm afraid to choose with the Holy Spirit.