In the Light of Your Self

I absolutely love her channelings/messages, especially this one:

HEAVEN #2650 In the Light of Your Self

channeled by Gloria Wendroff

Tuesday, 26 February, 2008

What secrets are there between Us? There is nothing to hide. I am your Upholder. Think of what I just said. There is nothing to hide. You have nothing to hide. There is nothing that needs to be hidden. There is nothing worth hiding. I abolish secrets. Keeping a secret is like keeping a shoot of a flower in the shade. A flower must have sunshine in order to grow. In the case of a secret, the shade makes it grow, and the sun will erase it. Secrets come from fear, and fear grows in the cavernous darkness. There is no percentage in having fear nor secrets. I abolish fear, and I abolish secrets.

Besides, everything is known. Nothing is secret. The details may be, of course, but you are not a detail. Remember you are a vibration. No matter how subtly, your vibration is known. You cannot hide your vibration, beloveds. And where does your vibration come from but from your thoughts? Your consciousness expands or contracts with your thoughts. Your vibration is set in tune with your thoughts. A drum beats in pantomime, or a flute plays so silently that you do not hear, and yet the drum and flute send out a stream of vibration. All is a vibration. Light waves are a vibration. And so your thoughts twang, and if they twang what you see as a deep dark secret, you are laid low, beloveds, shrouded in an equivalent vibration.

You hide behind a little shrub, and all the time you are seen.

I choose you to sail along on a beautiful sea, so shining and blue that you can only shine and take delight in your voyage.

Tear up your secrets now. Flip them away. Keep them no longer. Let them see the light of day so they may leave you forever. Hiding is more tortuous than anything you might hide. Hiding is a parasite that rides on your back. Hiding is an ogre that won't let go of you. He holds on to your secrets. Give the ogre nothing hidden to hold on to, and he will be gone.

So long as you hold on to secrets, you are bound to the past. And you know what I think of the past and what you associate with it.

You know all your secrets. I tell you now that they are nothing at all. I tell you to say goodbye to them now. Once unhidden, beloveds, you have nothing to hide. Acknowledge to yourself what you have tried to hide. Absolve yourself of it now so that you may be free and love the world and not hide from it.

I do not tell you to find someone to confess to. I release you now from the idea that there is anything you must hide. Hiding is a prison of your own making. I tell you to step out of it now. I tell you to take off the shackles. They never were real! The shackles were all in your imagination. You sold yourself a bill of goods. You cheated yourself. You heard words like sin and guilt, and you took them to heart.

That you were ignorant, We already know. You are guilty of ignorance. You are guilty of having forgotten your worth. You are guilty of having offended yourself. Come out of this self-imposed darkness and declare yourself free. Free yourself from the past, beloveds. Once and for all, be done with it. Let the past be gone, and come with Me now in the light of your True Self, as a Divine Human Being who stands tall in the full realization of My love. You are just as much Mine as any King on Earth.

Already Fulfilled

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Already Fulfilled

When you don't need anything, then you truly have everything. When you know that you already have enough, that you already are enough, that everything is as it should be, then your life will be rich indeed.

Get past the need to possess and you'll discover that the whole world is yours. Abandon the need to be right and you'll find real truth.

Let go of the need to impress others and you'll have their sincere respect. Move beyond the need to control every detail, and your influence will grow stronger.

As long as you feel you need something, it cannot possibly be yours. The more you focus on the need for anything, the more you deny it to yourself.

Why would you want to do that? Instead, realize that whatever you desire is already available to you, and enjoy the process of expressing it more fully as you move through each moment.

Appreciate, understand and focus your energy on the good and valuable things in your life. And you'll know that your most authentic desires are already fulfilled.

-- Ralph Marston

Veiled

The veiled will remain so ... as I would rather keep it to myself. I will not post for some time now ...

My dream

My dream is to live a life full of color, textures and vibrancy.... to live effervescently ... to live in harmony with my beliefs ... to live and make the most of my personal limitations ... and to be spiritually connected, always.

My dream is to live a life filled with exploration and adventure.

My dream is to become the best version of myself there is.

---------------------------

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Life is what you choose The choices you've made have brought you to this point. Where do you choose to go next?

You have learned many things from the journey that you've taken. What do you wish to learn now?

From a vast array of possibilities, you have selected certain specific ones and successfully followed through with them. What are the possibilities that most interest you now?

It may sometimes seem that life is what happens to you. In truth, it is exactly the other way around.

Life is what you choose, what you do, what you think and what you create in each moment. All the other things going on provide the space and circumstances in which you make your life happen.

What do you choose to do with this day? Now is when you can bring your favorite dreams to life.

-- Ralph Marston

Ambrosia

Today,

I want to play with the young at heart ...

I want to pick fruit, and eat it right there, with the sun shining on my face ...

I want to try on flouncy hats and buy one ...

I want to play hopscotch ...

I want to run through a field of flowers ...

I want to hug a tree, climb it, and hang out with the birds and squirrels ...

I want to laugh so hard my stomach hurts and my eyes tear ...

I want to drive around, capturing stills of the wild and crazy to the most mundane ...

I want to hold and kiss a baby tiger ...

I want to run free, with the breeze flowing through my hair ...

I want to dance disco to Disco Duck, and just laugh at myself ...

I want to fall asleep in a hammock ...

I want to take a train ride and pretend I'm a tourist ...

I want to exchange golden moments, followed by appreciative silence ...

I want a taste of ambrosia ...

Affirmation

I’m thinking of all my goals and am wondering how I can implement them in a life filled with little free time. I pondered, and am still pondering whether I should trim a couple out so I could fully focus on those that occupy most of my time.

For some reason, a blurb I wrote down some time ago popped into my head: "Success is an identity process. If you surround yourself with it, you become it. If you don’t, you won’t." It also reminded me about what Sandra Bullock said:

"I've learned that success comes in a very prickly package. Whether you choose to accept it or not is up to you. It's what you choose to do with it, the people you choose to surround yourself with. Always choose people that are better than you. Always choose people that challenge you and are smarter than you. Always be the student. Once you find yourself to be the teacher, you've lost it."

This all ties into my goals. There’s no doubt successful people juggle several goals all the time; they just know how to do it successfully – I should find keys for doing the same ... That, or seriously consider cutting a couple of them out, or at least one of them.

I came across this, this morning and liked it enough to add here.

"Courage charms us because it indicates that a man loves an idea better than all things in the world, that he is thinking neither of his bed, not his dinner, nor his money, but will venture all to put in act the invisible thought of his mind."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Late last night, before my prior post, I purged myself of base thoughts and feelings via a poem. A poem I briefly posted but then omitted. Upon completing the last line, I was released from its taint. Interesting how that works ...

At the moment though, I would really love to laugh. That will put the glimmer back into my eyes. What I *am* feeling is steady, serene, and motivated, despite having slept little... I believe a lot of it has to do with the "purge," and with the gift of passion.

I hereby make the following affirmation. Perhaps I can add to it in time.

"I lead a charmed, simple and easy-going life filled with humor, high spirits, love, affection, abundance, integrity and anything in between that nourishes the heart and quickens the soul."

Painted Bunting

Yesterday (an hour ago) was a good shooting day. I captured Painted Bunting shots of both genders. I'm pretty proud of that considering I never thought I'd come across them, especially out in the wild.

I've been spreading myself too thin with my varied interests and need to learn to find balance in my life. This balance includes keeping up with my goals, as they're all equally important to me.

I guess I've just been so caught up with nature photography ... it has been all-consuming. No complaints ... just happy to have something that moves me to such an extent.

It's so late now and I have to go to work tomorrow, so I shall sign off for now.

This and That

Hi, my name is Lita, and I’m a photograph-aholic. I woke up at 5 am today and couldn’t go back to sleep because I was excited and wanted to leave early enough to get to the Wetlands again since early mornings are when the birds are most active.

This time, I saw a couple of people from the Sanibel trip. We were talking about our Flickr accounts, and I was told to post 1 or 2 pics max per day to give our contacts a chance to see them and comment. They’ll only see the last few pics uploaded at a time.

I’m torn though, because I just want to get them all uploaded so I don’t have to keep track of what still needs to be posted. I think I’ll just go on what I feel, and what I feel is to just start uploading. Ultimately, I’m doing this for my personal enjoyment. When I first uploaded pics to the Flickr account, I knew nothing of contacts or the ability to comment. I just knew it was a great place to upload my pics on the net so I could slideshow them at work. So if I get comments great; if not, well that’s ok too.

It was especially fun today because I actually interacted with fellow photographers. There was instant camaraderie among the photographers, and there were a lot. Everyone is courteous and smart … and they so know their wildlife.

When one would spot an unusual bird that came around only a few days out of the year, that person would excitedly point it out so we could all have our “shot” at it. Gotta’ appreciate that.

One accomplished photographer who’s been photographing for 40 years kept trying to talk me into making photography a profession since it’s evident I love it so much. He even encouraged me to become part of National Geographic “while you’re still young.” It made me feel like he had been lacking in his life and that someone should go for it since he couldn’t anymore, being that he was handicapped. He wore a mask over his face to keep germs away since he had a lung transplant. He talked of how so many people who have digital cameras think they’re pictures are good, when they’re not. I thought that was a rather bold statement, and he shared why. When he opened my eyes about some of the reasons, it underscored that I have a lot to learn. I applied one thing he taught me to some of my shots today, and I’m impressed and happy about it.

Pictures are the only way of stopping time – that’s the only control of time we have.

We are so at the mercy of Mother Nature when it comes to wildlife shots. The rule is you’ll never be prepared enough, and that the moment you walk away, you will likely miss a winning shot. Plus, anything can happen within a blink of an eye. God, so so true. I missed so many good shots just for blinking. I saw another Red-Shouldered Hawk today, and *yes* I got a clear picture today (yay!). But I wanted an action shot, so I stood there with my eye through the viewfinder. I got distracted for a moment, and it was at that moment he took off … naturally.

My head is so full of bird names for all the birds I shot only today – and there were a lot. Especially of the really tiny ones, including the Warbler’s … There’s such a wide array of small birds to watch and look for – just like dragonflies … and most tend to overlook both.

Anyway, I’m pretty happy with the results from my camera (and for some shots, from PSP editing). One of the Flickr pals was so impressed with the quality of the photos I shared, she had to know what type of camera I had. Although I’d love to claim a Nikon D300, it’s a D80, with a Nikor 70-300 mm VR lens. I got a Nikon over a Canon because I was already familiar with some of the dials from my Nikon point-and-shoot.

I will discuss my goals here, because I have been negligent in doing so:

• I’ve been eating nothing but raw food these last few days.
• I have been exercising and have been especially active the last few days.
• Unless it has to do with photography, I have not been reading ... or writing.
• I have developed great communication skills … with other photographers.

Since I awoke so early and have been out in the sun a great part of the day, I’m extremely tired. Hopefully, most of what I wrote made sense. I guess I’ll know when I revisit this later.

Okey dokey, I’m gonna’ upload more pics now, and will continue doing so throughout the week since I have so many pics to still go through.

G’night, sweet blog.

Wetlands

This is the edited version, where I blurred around him to try to bring his image out more, but it didn't help by much.

This is the unedited version.

Anyway ... :) I went to the wetlands this morning to go shooting. It’s about 35 miles northeast of where I live. It’s a cool place, not only because it attracts a variety of animals, but because it’s free.

Whatever I could find of interest through my viewfinder was open “game,” including dragonflies … what I saw mostly were water birds and reptiles.

I only saw one bird of prey, the Red-Shouldered Hawk (see above). Unfortunately, the only shot I got of him was his backside, as he flew away with brunch. Worse yet, the shot is blurry. He came out of nowhere, so I had little time to focus. As I stated above, I tried to blur around him, so his image would stand out more, but it didn’t help by much. I posted both versions for comparison.

Each time I stopped for dragonfly shots, I drew the attention of passers-by, as they’d ask what caught my eye. Evidently, most only want spoon-fed sights. Seeing the obtuse is just as gratifying.

Anyway, I love that place. I love how there are places we preserve just for wildlife. As Thoreau says, “We can never have enough of nature.” So true. At one time I had Henry Thoreau’s book, Walden (a reflection upon simple living in natural surroundings), but never got around to reading it … and now I no longer have it. … If the library has it, I’ll check it out.

I did a cursory glance of some of the pics I took today, and I’m happy with a lot of them. I notice that in some of the shots, there are cool reflections, like in the alligator shot. Unless the alligator is doing something exciting, I normally find shots of them boring since they don’t have contrasting colors, but it’s reflection makes the picture richer.

I also got a couple of butt shots that I was thinking of turning into a graphic for fun by adding a “kiss my bum,” or the like. :)

Another picture I looked at briefly was of a momma Anhinga feeding her fledgling, and she is literally putting the entire babe’s head into her mouth and partially down her throat.

I’m learning so much, not only about photography, but of the ecosystem … and am becoming better versed on the local butterflies, dragonflies, birds and reptiles. Such fun!

I have many pictures that were taken last weekend that are ready to be uploaded to Flickr, so I may upload them tonight … or not, depending on whether I get sidetracked by my other pictures. Since I *still* have pics left from last weekend to go through, I’m torn between which ones I should work on first, cuz’ I really wanna’ play with today’s pictures too … but so little time. It’s great to feel inundated by such treasures.

Breather

I’m feeling very little zest today … It’s ennui for sure, and I don’t know why. I’m feeling disconnected for some reason. I suppose I could meditate, but I don’t even feel like doing that. I’ll chalk it up to just needing to step back and take a breather … even from my cherished photos. I’m not gonna’ work on them tonight, but I will upload at least 4 pics for now … they’ll be randomly picked … and just maybe my mood will change then.

What *was* great about today was I got a stream of appreciative comments from people around the world on some of the photos I posted on my Flickr account. Rewarding exchanges between friends and strangers who share the same love of photography ...

Zesty photography =o)

I feel like a mad scientist obsessed with her work. I don’t want to do anything else but work on my photos … or at least that’s how my life has proved this week after work. I’ve been ingesting shakes for dinner this week to maximize my time spent experimenting with PaintShopPro and my pics, my babies. Heck, I don’t even have to take time out to chew, LOL. It’s all good. I’m having fun. This is what it’s like to feel alive. It is. Doing something I love. I love to take pictures. I love coming home with a full memory card, sifting for pearls. I love how pictures color our world.

I also love to see through others’ eyes via their captures. It’s so intimate in a way -- inviting each other into our respective lives via the pictures we take.

I was speaking to a girl from the west coast about the steep price of macro lenses and she said in lieu of those, she uses “macro” filters … 1 set contains 3 of various strengths. I asked the others what they thought about them and they said it could distort things. Makes sense since it mimics a magnifying glass. I don’t care … $50 as opposed to several hundred dollars … if anything, it’s just more tools at my disposal. Macros do rock … transforming the ordinary into the jaw-dropping extraordinary. :)

I want to get a tripod; but $200 for a tripod versus other stuff I could get … I’m just so indecisive. Will I “pay the price” for trying to go the cheap route on everything? I dunno’ … I don’t want to pine for something I should’ve gotten instead, and then end up investing more than I would have had I just made the wiser purchase. I guess “wise” is subjective. It’s the way of things in the electronic age, I suppose.

I noticed that my blog is not even a blog about accountability anymore … it’s become more a blog on photography. Probably geeky-boring for some, but that’s ok; it's my thing. I’m so inspired … I am.

Sometimes I liken our viewpoint of life to a picture. Crop out the superfluous and zoom in on the beautiful. That’s why my flickr account is “lookforbeauty.”

My photo frenzy should end soon, as I’m toward the end of my pictures … and then I’ll go back to addressing my other goals.

It’s late again … so the photos I intended to upload today will just have to wait until tomorrow …

… back to the “laboratory” I go.

p.s. Stairway to Heaven is playing now ... a great laboratory tune :)

:)

Yawnnn …. I’m sitting here listening to the classic rock station and mmmm, I love this station :)

Anyway, it’s perfect for editing pictures … So many pictures I tried to “save,” but accepted as inferior and hence, tossed … Fortunately, there were also some decent ones. There were like 3 I didn’t have to edit at all. There were a couple that didn't even require cropping :) ... I love that feeling. They’re perfecto shots! They’re like puzzle pieces that click into place perfectly … mmmm. I could get used to that :)

I had such plans to blog today, as I’m feeling reflective and longwinded, but since I’m so tired now after staring at pictures and the screen all day, it will have to wait until tomorrow … Of course by tomorrow, I may be singing a different tune from the tune I intended to sing today. Live for the moment, right? :)

I’m feeling so much love at the moment … everything feels so, I dunno', but I'm not gonna' question it, I'm just gonna' smile and be happy while it lasts.

Since it’s already so late, I’m not gonna’ post the new pics until tomorrow, cuz’ I need to add my copyright text.

All my goals today -- it was like what frickin' goals? It was like "screw goals." I have such an extremist mindset and need to stop that. My all or nothing thinking is not healthy and certainly not fun -- it doesn't always serve me ... more on that later ... sleepy now ...

Stevie Nicks is on now ... will sleep with her voice in my head ...

G’night :)

Calling for Clarity

I need to live with integrity. I need to have a clear sense of purpose. I need to stop floundering around directionless. I need to meditate more. These are in fact needs. Now what the heck am I going to do about it all?

Sometimes I’m crystal clear in these areas, but at the moment I’m murky. Murky is not fun.

I started looking at and working with the pictures I took this weekend. Some made me laugh and some made me curse. There are limitations, and I need to pinpoint what they are. I know one was the overcast weather. But I think a great deal has to do with my not knowing my camera well enough. Also, I came to the regrettable conclusion that I’m just gonna’ have to consider investing more than I had intended. I strive to get the clearest, cleanest shots possible and unless I do what I just stated, I will have to live in limitation which is not an alternative. And why do I want these amazing shots? Self-satisfaction, first and foremost; to share with others who appreciate them; become adept enough to consider myself a professional. By professional, I mean being confident enough with my stuff to market it. I may never market my babies, but I want to feel that they are of marketing quality. There – I just listed a crystal clear purpose.

Now about writing ... crap; I fade in and out of it, and I don’t know why it’s so hard to stay on track. I’m serious about it, I’m just afraid of it. I need to drop the fear and just fall in love with it. I need to eradicate the critic and just write. For what purpose? Because it feeds me in intellectual and creative ways.

About meditating ... sometimes I feel like I need the perfect set of circumstances in order to sit quietly for 15 minutes. Evidently, the perfect set of circumstances are scarce. Perfectionism is a handicap. It’s another thing I need to eradicate, as it just gets in my blasted way. Why meditate? Because it calms my mind and helps me focus and stay balanced.

About my raw food path ... Well, my whole objective for that is to *feel* good, and to know it’s a way of self-loving. When I ate those cookies yesterday, it did not make me feel good, so I sabotaged my objective. I need to stop becoming my worst enemy.

I exercised last night. Exercise comes easy to me because, well, I don't know why. It just does. Thank God for the small stuff :)

I need to stop being a conflicted person, as this fritters away energy I could be directing toward my wants. I call for clear desires, laser focus and drive and inspired action. Yes. Yes, indeed.

Cup is Half Full

Life is hard ... Yup.

It took all I had to drag myself in this morning after a 3-day weekend of nature and fun. This weekend served as a temporary diversion, albeit a worthy one ... and now, I’m back to reality. It’s times like this I like to seek refuge in the realm of dreams. Not only did I have to face the work waiting for me on my desk, but I was told a good friend was fired. I stood in shock, at her desk for a spell. I remember how it was once filled with her essence, and now it’s cold and empty. I’m sick and tired of voids. I am.

I miss being a kid, where no one questioned spontaneity or playing pretend. I miss the days where I would become a princess just by dressing as one.

I want to go back to seeing everything from a child’s perspective. To believe the best in people .... to see everyday as an opportunity for creativity and play.

While in traffic this AM, I pulled out my photography manual, and it made me smile. I realize there is so much room for learning and growth ... much to look forward to. Many of the newbies this weekend, including myself, kept our settings mostly on automatic. We experimented with manual and aperture settings, but when we didn’t want to miss out on a potentially good shot, we’d flip back to automatic. I want to reach a point where I know my camera like the back of my hand -- to where when I see certain light and movement conditions, I’ll know my camera’s optimum option for that scene, instead of fumbling around in panic as my subject flies off.

Our host has taken amazing wildlife shots, but the only ones that seem to sell are the ones that he turned "artsy" via Photoshop. His rationale is that most people have digital cameras now, so they find no reason to pay for something they feel they themselves could do. I saw some of the pictures he sold that were edited with Photoshop, and they were impressive.

The girl with the D300 shared that her photography teacher advised her to stop taking pictures of just a bird, or just a flower. I asked her to clarify because if birds and flowers turned her on, why would he try to sway her to subjects that didn’t speak to her. She clarified by giving examples and it stuck with me. An example was instead of taking a picture of just a flower, to take a picture of a flower with a bee on it. Instead of taking a picture of just an animal, take a picture of its eye.

Also of note was that the seasoned photographers kept advising me to take action shots of wildlife and not to be attached to static posing-like pictures. There’s a story this way – it gives it life. Now that I see what they mean, I agree.

Our host advised that the best way to go in the way of tripods is to get one in 3 parts: legs, a platform that attaches to the camera, and a ball bearing head that connects the two. The ball bearing head offers maximum movement, and allows for quick and easy detachment by a switch of a lever. He said the significance of having an easy detachment would be for those times sudden and spontaneous action occurs behind you that you may want to capture shots of. This runs from $200 on up, depending on the weight of the camera and any attachments.

People were going on and on about accessories such as the various lenses and filters. They were commenting on the sums of money required for this passion and many said they had some luck with E-bay, but to make sure the prospective vendor has at least 100 hits and stellar testimonials. I’m thinking in terms of abundance ... I attract abundance to me.

I will consider this my writing for the day ... I’ve already deviated from raw food by eating 2 chocolate covered cookies (for comfort) ... I plan to exercise tonight.

I feel heavy ... I will work now and focus on the positives.

Photography Jargon

I have decompressed and feel as though I've been “reset.”

During the week, I knew I had an upcoming trip to Sanibel Island. At first, I was excited. But as time drew near, I became a prisoner of worry. I worried about incidentals, especially loquacious people. But it all worked out, because I became one such person, LOL … and because the topic stayed on photography. I found myself uttering words like aperture, ISO, shutter speed, EV compensation, histogram, metering mode, white balance, etc. I felt like I was practicing a new language; one that I’m grasping more of each day.

I had a rough first day with the lack of a roll-out bed, bunking with an unplanned roommie who snored, and then inadvertently deleting over 100 something pictures >EXPLETIVE!< ... But the thought of waking up to a new day with new opportunities kept my chin up.

Of the shots I accidentally deleted, the only shots I was not able to make up for were of the dolphin. And I know -- I just know they would have turned out dreamy >sigh< … but I suppose there’s always a next time.

Anyway, my objective for the trip was to get shots of the Roseate Spoonbill and of a sunset … I came home with one of the two, so mission not fully accomplished ... I, and others who hankered for the sunset shot, were cheated, as the clouds would not budge and the skies remained overcast. We were a spectacle, with our tripods and cameras lined up, waiting for Mother Nature to have mercy. We waited in denial for some time for the sun to break through. When the moon made its appearance and reality set in, our long faces traipsed through the damp, sandy beach in silent disappointment as we made our way back to the hotel. In retrospect, that whole ordeal makes me laugh, because we got so serious. Anyway, I shall never take a sunrise or sunset for granted again.

Throughout the weekend, we were looking for opportunities for the next best shot. We drove about with purpose to various destinations and climbed through thickets and mangroves to get just a little bit closer to wildlife. Our actions reminded me of the tornado chasers. It was hilarious. At one point, we were in the parking lot of a Dairy Queen with binoculars in hand, looking for the Bald Eagles’ nest that we were tipped off about. Unfortunately, the nest was deeply embedded in the woods and too high for a shot of quality.

Our bunch was a good mix of neophytes and pros. It was great to share stories of camera mishaps and to learn from the more experienced, who generously offered their knowledge.

It was amusing witnessing reactions of the Nikon versus Canon people. It was like, who’s team are you on?

Of the bunch, most carried Canons. Many had Rebel XTI’s. Each loved them wholeheartedly. Our guide had a Mark II, which is excellent for wildlife since it shoots 8.5 frames per second. Our host had a D5, which I understand is also amazing, but since it’s slower, it’s more for landscape shots.

Most of the Nikon “team” carried D70’s. D80’s came in second. I only came across one person who had the renown D300. I hear they’re excellent because of their full frame sensors and noiseless shots, but when I spoke with the D300 owner, she was unhappy with it for the sole reason of it being digital. I guess she’s a hardcore film person. Actually, there were many hardcore film people who reluctantly accepted the digital wave.

Lens. It’s all about the lens --- especially of the telephoto variety. Most sported 300 millimeters. But the ultimate way to go, without expending exorbitant amounts, is to get extenders that you could actually double up on. Theoretically, depending on the extenders, you could increase the range up to 1100 millimeters. However, with each add, it affects the f-stops, as they become reduced with each extender.

The contrast between the feel of the islands versus the mainland is amazing, and even more so from the west coast to the east. I won’t deem it bad, just jolting. … I started to get anxiety. I may have to decompress again shortly, LOL.

I was going to upload my photos to Flickr tonight, but forget it now; it will have to wait. What I will do tonight is post my Roseate Spoonbill …

As far as my other goals are concerned:

I’ve been eating nothing but raw food with one exception. For lunch today, I had a small slice of orange crunch cake that came highly recommended by the Bubble Room waitress. She was quite persuasive. The Bubble Room is a restaurant on the island of Captiva and has a Disney feel to it. It was too cute.

I haven’t made the time to write since I’ve been in photography mode.

I’ve been consistently exercising.

And that’s it.

Hooked on Youtube

Today would have been the big day; and although it saddens me that it’s put off yet again, I will continue to remain hopeful.

My mood, despite same and despite my lack of sleep, is decent. It got better once I spoke with a fellow photographer about this weekend’s trip. I’m sooooooo excited. This is a perfect diversion. I know I’m going to learn so much from the "big guys." My camera will certainly pale in comparison to those around me, but hey, a girl can dream and develop a wish list :).

This week, I will focus more on photography than writing since it’s a priority.

My horoscope says "Certainly you are ready for a greater spiritual understanding of the world now. ‘You need to experience more than the superficial banality of life that many people become mired in' [nicely put, lol]. Although you are inclined to idealize the world in general and certain persons in particular, in the long run you will find that this is not a delusion but a period of truly expanding knowledge." — interesting ...

Today, I went for:
3 persimmons
huge plateful of watermelon
banana
Isalean shake
3 small cookies
sashimi

No exercise tonight; but I must not skip meditation.

Nature's Allure

I took lots of pictures today, including the scarlet skimmer dragonfly above. My camera has become like a best friend ... like an appendage. Photography, especially nature photography, is an addiction, one that I can’t seem to get enough of …

I was feeling out of sorts today … neurotic. Toxic thoughts seem to seep in on occasion -- like today, and I feel so assaulted. I forget to breathe and forget that I have the power to change my thoughts. It’s paramount that I surround myself with beauty, as it plays a role toward a healthy mindset and has a pleasant domino effect. Beautiful surroundings, sounds, textures … everything that’s genuine. I think that’s why nature calls to me so. I was outside for awhile taking photos, and I experienced a sense of oneness and peace that I can get no other way.

I'm not a fan of small talk and superficial conversations. I prefer discussions of dreams and passions. Everything else feels like fluff. Having to endure small talk is still a challenge for me. I guess it can be foreplay toward deeper conversations. I prefer intimate conversations … soul bearing conversations. After that, companionable silence is just as golden.

I guess there’s so much fluff that already goes on in my head internally …

I just did a one hour work out. Getting physical also helps me achieve a serene mind. I think part of it is because I’ve earned the chance to relax. Sometimes I make myself crazy with the drive to always want to accomplish something. I feel like I’m cheating myself out of something crucial when a day goes by that I didn’t accomplishing at least one thing.

I discovered Youtube last night and “wow;” it has become my new evening companion.

Today, my intake was pretty simple:

2 fruit smoothies
3 raw organic fruit bars
1 shake

I'm going to spend the rest of the night cropping and editing some of today's shots and Youtube-ing it.

Here's Styx's Renegade --- there's something seductive about the badness of this song ... it's the yang of the yin/yang balance, I guess. May the legacy of Styx live on!

On Track

I hiked 4 miles, took a ton of photos (the sea gull on top included) and ate all raw food today.

I just got done meditating and writing in the A book. It took several songs of carefree dancing and a meditation session to get myself into writing mode. My resistance has been overwhelmingly great. Sometimes "just doing it" feels easier said than done.

Today was the first time I meditated using the technique A taught me. I loved the effects, despite the interruptions from my 4-legged friend.

Today, I ate:

• organic banana balls (bananas, medjool dates, walnuts, almonds, raisings, spices)
• Organic Sesame Nori Crackers (sprouted almonds, sprouted sunflower seeds, sesame, lemon juice, herbs, basil, garlic, Celtic sea salt, untoasted organic nori seaweed)
• 2 fruit smoothies (strawberries, papayas, bananas, coconut milk)
• 2 organic raw food bars

I bathe in the feelings of self-accomplishment. I will conclude the day with a session of body brushing and self-loving.

----------------------------------------

Today's Daily Motivator is noteworthy:

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Make it real

The problems seem so big and imposing because you focus on them so intently and see them so clearly. Imagine looking at some of your best positive possibilities with the same intensity and level of focus.

The past seems so real because you know so much about it, and as a result it commands much of your attention. Consider what would happen if you could put your full, undivided attention on the valuable and creative things you're now able to do in the present.

Whatever you focus upon grows more and more influential in your life. Because the things you focus upon are the things you act upon, and every action has real consequences.

Your life is what you choose to make it, and the time to choose is right now. What you do with the moment at hand is more important, by orders of magnitude, than any past disappointments or present difficulties.

This is the day for you to make a difference. This is your moment to transform nagging problems into magnificent opportunities.

You are able, right now, to choose any thought, any action, and any path. This time, you can choose the very best and truly make it real.

-- Ralph Marston

Nostalgia

For lunch, I had a pomegranate paradise smoothie, followed by an avocado. For dinner, I had a mamey fruit pie followed by an organic raw food bar. I took pictures at the park, and put them into a collage. I got to pet the horses … and they didn’t bite :) I wonder if I should bring apples for next time ...

While there, I met a kindred spirit by the name of Erika (see pic). She’s an older lady from Switzerland, and my experience with her was like opening a surprise gift. A gift I apparently needed. It felt good to know I’m not alone in my adventuresome spirit. She’s an adventurer at heart and tends to wilt when subjected to the same old grind, in the same old scene. We shared similar philosophies. Some of the things we discussed were about simplifying our lives and not having our possessions possess us. She raised all three of her children, inspiring instant autonomy. Her words: "I gave birth to them, but I felt like they weren’t ‘mine’ in the sense of owning them. They each had the freedom to make their own choices, choosing what was best for them." She said that’s how she was raised. She said in Switzerland, things are clean and organized and that the salary there pays more than here.

I worked out to a classic rock station, and the hour went by quick … That station brought on such nostalgia. So many lyrics I never used to pay attention to, until years later. I loved hearing Aerosmith’s Dream On … Eddie Money’s Hold On … Joe Walsh Life’s been Good … Kansas’ Carry on Wayward Son …

Look, Fleetwood Mac, and Heart. Aaaahh :)

So many songs back then truly, truly rocked! It makes me feel my age. I’m hearing more good songs, and this old ass is gonna’ rock the night away now!!!

I lift My Eyes

I’m drinking my warm, cinnamon apple spice tea, wondering about all the gifts this day will hold for me.

My eyes itch and are watery. Cold symptoms, including physical weakness linger. Yesterday, I felt so bad I almost left work early. To "reward" myself for staying, I ate cookies coated in chocolate. Afterward, I felt bad and guilty because the effects of the refined sugar were immediate and didn’t help any prior cleansing attempts, but I tried not to think about it. I should’ve just rewarded myself with leaving early like I wanted, followed by TLC.

Another missed writer’s group meeting enabled to me to rest and find solace watching the season premier of Lost. I was so glued to the tube, which is so not me. But I guess I am when it comes to this show. It is the only time I find myself really looking forward to a night in front of the television. Well that’s not true, Ghost Whisperer comes in at a close second.

This cold has so kicked my ass and gotten me off routine. I will feel much better once I can get myself into a steady regimen of:

• meditating


• exercising


• photographing


• writing


• body brushing


• cleaning

I’m starting to get antsy because I have not been able to exercise, but I’m trying to listen to my body. Maybe if I did some light stretching or an easy yoga tape. Nah; that’s not me. I’m such an extremist sometimes. Knowing me, I’ll dive into an hour long, hardcore exercise.

It’s so sunny outside and it should reach a warm 80 degrees today. I am truly a child of the sun, as I love it so ... I brought my camera with me so I could take pictures in the park at lunch. I’ve been studying my photography book, but I don’t think any of it will really sink in until I get to do everything hands on.

For breakfast I had 3 persimmons, followed by a plateful of watermelon. Mmmmm. It feels good to eat "whole" foods, that have their life force fully intact. I’ll probably go to Jamba Juice later.

I’ve been listening to Olivia Newton-John lately; she so inspires me on many different levels. Her latest album, Grace and Gratitude, is so spiritual. I love it. She’s been my lifelong idol. I adored her back in the days when she sang "Have you Never Been Mellow." This was way before she became popular in Grease. I used to sit between the speakers, memorizing her album covers as I sang along with her to some perceived love at the sketchy age of 9 or 10.

I lift my eyes to the sun ... to love ... to yummy colors ... to smiles ... to laughter.

I must get to work now, but will try to write more later.