Leap ... and the net will appear

This year has been about jumping from "ledges" in faith ... the Universe has unfailingly responded by sprouting me with wings of grace on my way down.

I have finally come to terms with closing the door to a 22-year marriage. We rarely communicate now and I'm okay with that. I took a substantial monetary loss when I left secure, well-paying jobs. Twice. Despite all reasons not to trust again, I allowed myself to fully embrace new romantic relationships. Also twice ... I've come to accept that living alone need not be painful or scary. I've accepted that my son is a grown man with his own destiny of which I have no control other than to do what is within reach and to change my mindset about it ... I've discovered that our bodies react to our mind, and my mind is an eternal springtime ...

Being a free agent, I am free to be myself without apology ... and aspire to return to a state of innocence ... seeing everything and everyone through eyes of compassion.

Cheers to my soul mate sisters who have been such a blessing to me. ☺ I love you as I love life!  I dedicate this Youtube video, This One's for the Girls, to  you. 

May the new year be a juicy one, where fellow beings freely extend love, where green lights dominate and where song, poetry and wonderful art kiss the lips of all who are thirsty for it.

♥

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." ~Anais Nin

Today, I reached homeostasis (Homeostasis: Noun - Psychology : a state of psychological equilibrium obtained when tension or a drive has been reduced or eliminated) ... and I so wish I knew how to achieve this state at will.  But if it's due to the current planetary alignment, or reaching the targeted sugar consumption, or achieving an ample amount of unplanned orgasms, then I'll strive for something more simple ...

Just got done watching "Black Swan" starring Natalie Portman. I could so relate to the dual personality dilemmas she had.

In preparation for my goals for the upcoming year, I’m getting used to the idea of bringing my camera with me wherever I go again ... it’ll be like an extension of me, an appendage.

An even loftier ideal is to promptly process and actually share them. ;P

Today's writing assignment:   Write the Smells of Things That Don't Smell (Much) and then pick your favorite 3 (of which I marked via bold-face and an *):

What is the smell of:

• mystery - homemade stew
• the moon - an ancient scroll *
• sadness - an abandoned building
• child's joy in watching a soap bubble - fresh-baked cookies *
• grief - toxic fumes
• cowardice - bad body odor
• snow - vanilla ice cream
• velcro - new car
• a nasty letter - cat feces
• silver - being inside a car factory
• sand - the beach on a windy day
• a sidewalk in summer - spicy tacos
• the middle of the earth - a newborn
• purple - inside of a spa
• a contented dog napping - an open bag of Doritos * 
• a cloudless spring sky - honeysuckle
• gold - fresh baked bread
• a dollar bill - an old book

So tired ... not really wanting to work out ... but as Arnold would say in that famous accent of his:  "When you exercise you energize," so I better get to it now if I'm going to do it at all tonight ...

My Youtube pick for the day =)



♥

It's time to ... ♫ ♪ ♫

Okay, toning my prior blog post down a notch, with a little zaniness ;P

Today's writing assignment:  Write a story in which these three objects appear :

 (1) can of soda,  (2) down comforter, and (3) a chocolate doughnut

To keep this exercise within reach, I kept my story short as follows:

"On December 29, 2010 at 5:48 pm and 58 seconds, a flea capable of jumping more than 80 times its height, lands on an unsuspecting débutante. At that same moment, in an old rundown house in Tuscany, a haphazardly placed down comforter is pulled from the bed to the floor by an obstinate teacup poodle. Meanwhile, in a well-hidden research laboratory, an unkempt scientist spits out the stale contents of a half-filled can of soda. At the same moment, crumbs from a chocolate doughnut fall unseen from a party napkin and into an elevator shaft, the crumbs of which becomes fodder for nearby ants."

It's time to ... ♫ ♪ ♫

Strong, powerful, beautiful

When I came across this picture, I decided to re-process it because my Chinese Astrological sign is that of a Horse, specifically a Fire Horse ... Plus, I love how it makes me feel looking at it ... with all of their noble heads close together ... and remembering the danger I underwent when I trespassed to capture it =)

"The horse is an archetypal symbol which will always find ways to stir up deep and moving ancestral memories in every human being.” ~ Paul Mellon quotes

"To me, horses and freedom are synonymous." ~Veryl Goodnight

"The horse through all its trials has preserved the sweetness of paradise in its blood." ~Johannes Jensen

“A horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves - strong, powerful, beautiful - and it has the capability of giving us escape from our mundane existence.” ~ Pam Brown

Today's Prompt:   I can't believe that ...

I can't believe that I may be brazen enough to post what I intend to tomorrow ... It will be moderately verbose, to say the least. 

One of my all-time favorite things is to sleep in when I can

Ahhhh ... today, I slept in until 10 a.m., ate chocolate for breakfast, and am now seizing the day :)

ON WRITING:

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection." ~ Anais Nin

A do-able writing assignment is to write off of prompts. Sometimes my additions to the prompts will be verbose and sometimes not ... like today, as I have lots to accomplish before I return to work tomorrow.

Today's prompt is: "I want to take 3 months off to ..." visit and spend time knowing my young nephews, each of whom I have still not had the luxury of meeting; visiting with family and friends in general that are scattered throughout the world.

Soon, my writing will have glimpses of more raw material ...

ON ART (which I suppose includes writing):

I love looking at other's art work, and I think what holds me back a lot of the time is I simply don't want to make mediocre copies of another person's genius ...

"My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents.. and I lay them both at his feet." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

INTROSPECTIVE:

Yesterday, especially after watching Little Women (which makes me cry each and every time I watch it) I was gripped by emotions about loved ones ... how I miss them ... how I fall short ...  It felt good to cry; I only wish I didn't do so again while talking to my mom.  I always want to show her the side of me that's balanced ... she sooths me with the same words of comfort I've given her throughout the years.  She did what she could to make me laugh before we got off the phone, and it worked ...  She said she needed someone to take care of and that perhaps she'd make a trip to the dollar store so she could get a doll to pamper ... to brush it's hair, paint it's nails, etc.  I think I got a lot of my quirkiness from her and I wouldn't trade it for a thing.

This artist has such a hauntingly-captivating voice that I love listening to when I feel introspective:

Scenes from the last couple of weeks

(The most recent captures on top)

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are

At last, I'm in a place where I'm eager about everything I do. > crossing my fingers it's long-lived <  ;)

I am honored I have been one among many to witness another year go by. Whew, what a roller coaster ride the last few have been. I’ve joined forces with my Higher Self ... but have also been a Mistress of the Dark-Blue. Heavy emotions and fears cast their distressing shadows all over my person way past their expiration date. I no longer seek to get down on myself about anything. Gentleness, Kindness and Honoring my Spiritual Path will be my way from here forward. As I'm a being who craves love and attention, I will simply look no further than the end of my own fingertips and heart. We're all interconnected and one anyway, so whatever love I extend that spills over will ultimately flow back into me.

Parts of me are impulsive, impatient and easily overwhelmed. I tend to fall short at keeping up with the speed of the entries of my creative, prolific friends ... Still, I shall strive to improve and do my best, despite constantly tripping over myself. I very much appreciate all the love and encouragement that has helped me evolve thus far.

My "all or nothing" mentality is a trippy thing to deal with ... and I tend to over think myself into exhaustion which can be quite counterproductive. Still, when I get myself to remember I create my reality ... my bed of bliss ... my hot mess ... I become empowered.

Despite any perceived setbacks, I will continue to approach life with a sense of daring and adventure... I will taste and sample from the buffet of Source energy... and shall do my best not to get side tracked from my spiritual and creative goals, which have taken a back seat to tangents.

Next year is the perfect time to become fully involved with something. I see no reason why that shouldn’t be persistence.

As I’m easily deterred, it’s important I have a plan ... and then a backup plan, just in case. ;)

Plan A:

Go back to the basics:

• Photography
• Writing

Byproducts of either is simply icing.

Plan B:

Focus energies on staying in contact with far away family and friends.

So if I falter on Plan A, I have Plan B to fall back on. Once I master persistence, I’ll do both. Both are productive. Both serve life and heart.

One of my upcoming tasks is to turn my blog into a book; that way if blogger goes down, I’ll have it in hard copy.

I changed the settings of my blog to hide comments, but for some reason it’s disabled the comment box altogether. So anyone who wishes to share something, simply shoot me an E-mail.

I thrive on watching how ordinary moments are transformed into the extraordinary. It inspires me deeply.

Here's an old entry posted 1/28/08 that I loved reading and wanted to repost:

I thought of something I heard awhile back, which made me pause: What you see in others is what you see in yourself. I take great care in what I choose to see then.

There’s this luminous raw food chef, Katherine, who posted the following which totally moved me. In keeping with what I just wrote, I appreciate the "me" that I see in her :)

   

Here’s stuff she wrote on:

• Hobbies: Creating my own magical life, discovering my own real beauty, attending to my higher self.
• Favorite Places: Within the ever unfolding walls of my happiest heart.
• Favorite Sports: Sighting my own eagle landing.
• Reading Now: Reading my own hand. Lighting my own eyes upon my own written page. Looking into a brave, new future created by my own merry making.
• Listening Now: To my own steady heartbeat. For signs.
• Dislikes: Nothing is worth that much energy. Love is all that counts.

My next post will be mostly wordless, and comprise of pictures taken the last couple of weeks.

♥

A Sunday in December

This morning, I checked to see if the latest Fringe episode was ready for viewing on-line and it's not scheduled to air again until January 21! That’s 4 weeks away! Whatever will I do with myself until then?! I checked my E-mails and aside from spam, nothing worthy of reading. I crawled back into bed and picked up where I left off ... reading from the page held by my new, magnetic bookmark. It is one of Laura’s Christmas gifts to me ... visually alluring, with artful images and soulful quotes. When I got hungry, I tried to make a shake but got frustrated when it tasted like a cup of chemicals ... I’m realizing this month’s shipment must’ve been tainted somehow. My backup breakfast is dark chocolate and coconut water. I remember in my youth how chocolate was like mother's milk to me ... the staple of my sustenance. I cut loose, dancing to Poker Face by Lady Gaga. I will endeavor to make it to a grocery store for lunch.

Fun in burning the candle at both ends

The past weekend was a whirlwind of FUN!

It was easy to burn the candle at both ends, which is what I did from all the excitement.

Saturday, I spent time compiling future projects and bike riding before I prepared for the night-time revelry.

The evening began with lots of Kava, both spilled and ingested.

Our kava high stayed with us throughout the Christmas Party where I got to meet new, kind and funny people.

All the hoopla from the night prior, combined with the anticipation of meeting the rest of the clan kept sleep at bay.

Sunday, I got to meet the third Kilr BBB. =)   At the dog park, we saw a wide range of dogs.

I got to demonstrate just how poorly I can catch, throw and kick a ball ... and I managed to stay away from embarrassing myself further with my batting skills, or rather lack thereof.

I got to do several of my favorite things, including take candid pictures of family interaction, climb trees and go on a picnic.

It felt so easy and natural to be with this shiny family.

Gratitude is the memory of the heart

"When we become more fully aware that our success is due in large measure to the loyalty, helpfulness, and encouragement we have received from others, our desire grows to pass on similar gifts. Gratitude spurs us on to prove ourselves worthy of what others have done for us. The spirit of gratitude is a powerful energizer." — Wilferd A. Peterson

~ Thanks, my very-much-missed Kym!  It was SO fun to read the above excerpt 12 years later (from the booklet you gifted -- remember?)! I still fiercely cherish it ... It makes me giggle and happy to remember some of the stuff you wrote with corresponding pics. ☺ [Click on image to view LARGE] ~

~ Thank you, my Laura for bringing me to and taking me across the bay ... and for being the first to brave the unknown depths of it with our expensive camera gear in hand ... It so made for a memorable and fun birthday!!! ( ... And hopefully, next year I'll have earned my other wing! ☺) ~

~ Thanks Tammy a/k/a Fairy Godmother, for this invaluable book of quotes that you gave me when I most needed it.  I refer to it time and again when I lose my footing ☺ ... This is what I got from it today:  "If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?" ~

~ My whole body smiled when these were delivered ☺!  The unique white roses amid the purples and greens ... the way it pleasantly perfumed my space ... I must say, I felt quite special receiving such a  stunning and personalized bouquet of heaven!  And I loved that you sent it just because. Thanks so much, my beloved Bill ☺!

"Gratitude is the memory of the heart." ~Jean Baptiste Massieu

♥

Resolutions

Yay for Fridays! Despite how I usually react to cooler weather, I find the cold nip invigorating and a good excuse to break out the boots and long sleeves.

I am learning so much about myself these days. And I am learning that good writing lives in ideas with energy ... from emotion and truth ...

My truths are seeping out ... although somewhat liberating... it leaves a bitter aftertaste. Perhaps a byproduct of being a habitual fretter? It takes 21 days to break a habit ... Perhaps something to add to my abounding list of new year’s resolutions.

I have pictures to process from this week and I’d like to also start processing and posting pics from the past that have been sitting in my hard drive beckoning for attention. Another thing to address in the new year. We’ll see ... ;)

Reading about Existentialism ... perhaps an outmoded philosophy, but still interesting ...

Per Wikipedia, The early 19th century philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, posthumously regarded as the father of existentialism, maintained that the individual is solely responsible for giving his or her own life meaning and for living that life passionately and sincerely, in spite of many existential obstacles and distractions including despair, angst, absurdity, alienation, and boredom.

How fun it would be to capture pictures for the Existentialist group ...

For my Beloveds awaiting a responsive E-mail, I promise to get back to you this weekend!

Thank God It's Today (TGIT)

The meeting of the wee ones went well yesterday. Their faces are shining beacons of sweetness and savvy. I felt myself plugged into Source being near them ... near their pure light.  Prior worries and concerns fell away.

We attended his daughter's soccer game of which her traveling team has stayed on top. It was an interesting and relaxing experience to sit among cheering parents as we watched an unfolding win take place. Blair has such a signature force behind her kicks that once her foot makes contact with the ball, it's prudent not to be nearby.  It was exciting, watching her make a goal and inadvertently pummel those who got in her way.

During the evening in, I was shocked and awed by a very corrupting South Park Uncut movie that Brent wanted to watch. I covered myself with a blanket, hoping the blanket would absorb the profanities and adult content and shield the young ears beside me. After watching it several times in rewind due to the enthusiastic young and curious, I found myself eventually becoming desensitized and wanting to sing along to the catchy tunes, lol.

We finished off the evening watching a more tame movie and polishing down pizza and Red Bull. It made for a wonderful day of introduction :)

As I don't have pictures to share of the youngsters from that day, I'll share pics taken by their father the day prior.

~ Natural born equestrian ~

~ Total cuteness ~

It's interesting, watching myself and wondering who I've become and who I'm becoming ... To watch walls once held firmly in place tumble down ... What immediately came to mind was Tom Hanks in the movie Turner & Hooch. He believed he wanted the status quo life of order and rigidity until ... lol ... Anyway, I'm lowering the volume of noisy thoughts and tuning in to the flow of life ... the flow of where my feelings take me ...  If there's anything that's guaranteed, it's change ... and instead of resisting, I relax as I focus on all the good in my experience.

As far as today, it was all about chores ... it nearly took all my time ... and now I'm preparing for Monday. TGIT (Thank God It's Today ;)

As indicated in my prior post about a warm-up writing assignment:

Create a recipe. The title of the recipe is "How to Write Everyday". The words to use in creating the recipe is grease, roast, fold, rub, cook, bake, tender, shake ...

• Thoroughly Grease an inflexible schedule until it becomes malleable enough to allow for writing time.
• Roast the inner critic.
• Cook up several ideas or themes ahead of time, so there is always new material on standby.
• Rub in a moderate amount of nouns, adjectives and verbs.
• Fold in humor to keep mixture from becoming to rubbery.
• Shake in an eyeball portion of punctuation.
• Bake the mixture of words and paragraphs until they are cohesive to the touch.
• Garnish with Tender Loving Care. ☺

♥

Creative Friday

Yesterday, Laura and I had our Creative Friday! It was sooo good to see her again ... to feel the strength of her support and to be re-infused with enthusiastic inspiration.

We did what we do best: Ate and hang out in bookstores. She asked if we could meet early so we could eat breakfast AND lunch, lol.  Sharing her appetite, I responded with a resounding and excited yes. ☺ At breakfast, we got each other caught up on our lives. During lunch, she shared in confidence, parts of her history which were quite riveting.

Despite it being Black Friday, the bookstores were not at all congested.  We found ourselves spending most of our time in the New Age and Reference sections of both Barnes & Noble and Borders Books.

~ Few books I found of interest ~

We had fun taking pictures of each other with books around us on the floor.  As those pictures were taken using Laura's camera, I'll include those here once she sends them to me. 

~ She and I perusing the New Age section ~

Being with her inspired me to finish up my next Exploration project and to blog more. I decided that instead of blogging just about my life, I will include results of my warm-up writing assignments taken from several books.

~ Scrumptious cinnamon scone with cinnamon tea ~

As we were wrapping up our get-together back at my place, we sampled some of the assignments in one of her books.  I jotted down several to try. So in my next post, I will provide the results from one of the assignments, one of which is as follows:

Create a recipe. The title of the recipe is "How to Write Everyday". The words to use in creating the recipe is grease, roast, fold, rub, cook, bake, tender, shake ... LOL, it will be sooo fun. Laura also has the same assignment, but she is to use a different ingredient of words. ☺

I slept in today, sleeping way more hours than I'm used to, and I now need to take time to get ready to head off. This is the day I get introduced to Bill's children ... I'm nervous and excited at the same time! ☺

♥

An experience beyond thought ...

I intended to blog when my weekend came to a close, but got inspired to blog sooner after reading my new Artful Blogging magazine.

Today is Thanksgiving ... and I am having what is traditional for me which is a meal totally untraditional for most of those in the US, lol. So far, I've had a raw fruit pie and chased that down with my favorite chocolate:

It's wonderful to feel healthy, loved, and surrounded by beauty and books.

I'm currently practicing the art of allowing ... it surprisingly requires no strain, this sweet sensation of surrender.

This morning I sat in the warmth of the sun on my patio, feeling the caress of the breeze and watched the clouds as they were quickly swept from my line of vision.

My preference would be to not feel as physically run down as I do. Thankfully, I have this weekend to rejuvenate.

Thanks to a movie I watched recently which was based on the true story of the poet, John Keats, I am pondering the art of poetry.

I became engrossed as he tried define poetry: "A poem needs understanding through the senses ... The point of diving in the lake is not immediately to swim to the shore, but to be in the lake ... to luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not work the lake out ... it is an experience beyond thought. Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept mystery."

It fascinates me ... those whose work is posthumous ... He wrote 150 poems.  The poems his reputation most rests upon were written in the span of nine months, from January to September 1819.  I like the way it was phrased "This intense flowering of talent remains unparalleled in literary history."

The theme to his poem, A Thing of Beauty is that beauty can be found anywhere and when appreciated can be used to raise your spirits in times of gloom. Mmmmm, yes!  My motto all along =)

So grateful!

Friday night unfolded with flowers, a cooler packed with goodies, kisses, kava, candlelight, incense, sushi, coconut water, Red Bull and music. We then snuggled on the couch, watching the movie he rented, Notting Hill. As the evening progressed into morning, it became CS (Cardio Saturday). We strolled around my neighborhood hand-in-hand, under the beginnings of a full moon. Electing to live "in the now" at that late (or rather early) hour, we gave in to our respective sweet tooth(s) by chowing down on mini-cookies dunked in milk. I was fascinated to learn the optimum submersion time is a full 20 seconds --  So thanks, Bill for that helpful tip! =)

As morning light announced the newness of the day, we awoke, and I melted under his gaze, loving ways and thoughtfulness. He brought his own espresso machine to prepare my chai tea, and his cappucino. We then filled our tummies with fruit smoothies. As there was little coconut water left after making my smoothie, he got resourceful and made his with Red Bull, lol (not too bad, actually ;)

Staying true to his Virgo nature, he then proceeded to clean the rampant ice from my freezer despite my insistence guests are to relax. His irrepressible urge to do so began at 2 AM, but he refrained so he wouldn't wake me. Even as I type this I'm laughing hysterically as I hear the out-of-control icemaker work now to vigorously replenish what he took. I discovered it is futile to get in his way when it comes to clean up, so I stepped aside as he made my bed, even though he didn't sleep in it.

~ Creating the foam for the latte ~

~ Effort to purge my freezer from rampant ice ~ 

As night approached, we dressed up to attend a holiday party among his peers at work, some who were also his students. Nearly everyone he introduced me to underscored what I already knew, and that is how fantastic he is :) The night was replete with good cheer and food. All at the party appeared genuine and it was refreshing to see the dance floor filled with both genders letting loose.  And yay that we won a raffle prize: a gift certificate to the Outback =)

Our weekend together ended as we gorged ourselves with the best of IHop this morning ...

Later today, I was wistful about go to the bookstore, so I indulged (without my Laura :( ) ... Anyway, I was happy to see they have the newest Artful Blogging magazine out, so I got it, naturally!

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Melody Beattie

Mmmmm ... I'm super happy and grateful for all that I have and all that I am :)

I am ...

One exercise in my Inner Excavation book is to write something from a starting point of phrases, such as “I am ...”

I am on the precipice of new understandings about myself and my spiritual strength. Engaging with others reveals which spiritual muscles have atrophied.

Mom (sister passed away) and Bri (cryptic and imploring letter) are having a rough week ... Feeling helpless, I lost my balance as I got caught in the undercurrent of their suffering. I swam back to shore only to be greeted by terrestrial, inner demons, Pesky and Creepy. I had to remind them they are not invited and had them escorted out.

I am carefully guarding my thought ...

I am refusing to permit anything antagonistic or unlovely to enter my consciousness ...

I am putting my whole trust, faith and confidence in the good ...

I am thinking with clarity, move with ease and accomplish without strain ...

I am expecting everything I do to prosper ...

I am allowing good to flow into my experience ...

I am seeing good in every direction I look ...

I am looking forward to more good ...

I am recognizing my union with all people and all events ...

~ My mom while in Greece ~

~ My beau and I with a fully decorated, hardcore fan ~

Dreaming on ...

In keeping with last week's advice, I decided to go for it and took the plunge ... Finding myself going down the rabbit hole, I came out of the other side greeted by his eyes, his smile, his romantic gestures. He comes bearing gifts, always. I see intelligence, humor and enlightenment for starters ... He's enigmatic ... someone I can't figure out ...

He said I am like the wind and cannot be captured. I think he's not only managed to see my hand of cards, but he understands it better than I do, as he seems to be a step ahead of my next thought ...

I spent a great deal of my weekend before him. I introduced him to kava and after getting high, we dined at a restaurant called Casablanca, both ordering fish dishes and expresso. As self-proclaimed, enlightened beings, we declared everyday is our birthday ... Being the prankster I've discovered him to be, he put in a birthday request for my Gemini twin, he named Bella (my carefree spirit side -- unbound by rules or society's restraints), and the restaurant, under loud speaker, proceeded to single me out by name and wish me a happy birthday in song. As I realize "resistance is futile," I helplessly played along and took it like a big girl ... 

As the skies only revealed a handful of faintly lit stars, we decided to reserve stargazing for another night.

This morning I was treated with a personal "Bed & Breakfast," the meal comprising of eggs, whole wheat toast, orange juice and chai tea. I must say, I give it a 5 out of 5 stars rating ;)

Afterward, he took me to the game ... I can't remember the last time I've been to one ... We both partook of traditional fare: Foot-long chilli/cheese hot dogs and chocolate ice cream on a waffle cone. There was only way to eat it and that was to also wear it, in part, lol. I'm happy to boast our team won, which I think is the way it should always be for home games.

Aside from indulging in loving experiences, I'm reading a book on increasing intuition ... it's quite fascinating ...

Anyway, here's my youtube pick for the week:

The Beach in November

I had another wonderful CS with Laura!  We started the day with breakfast at IHop followed by photography at the beach.  It was so brisk, feeling like the coldest day of Fall.  We caught each other up to speed with our respective lives/activities.  She discussed the parallels of certain characters in the novel she's writing this month, the storyline of which I will say very little for her creative privacy purposes.  It would be cool to be able to bottle a fraction of the creative energy she uses on artistic pursuits and then sell it ;P

I'm faced with another fork in the road and her advice is to go for it, despite there being so much at stake.  She and I discussed at length my tendencies ... I'm just as curious as the next person to see where my feet will tread; I will simply have to follow the signs and my instincts and do my best to allay fears along the way.

Anyway, after the beach, we ate at Seasons 52.  Also, in keeping with our routine, we also visited nearby bookstores (Barnes & Noble and Borders Books) to get our fix for creative inspiration and to do our part in helping the economy with our given purchases ;)

Love Love LOVE this song on Youtube:


♥

Fact or Fiction?

“I can believe anything provided it is incredible.”

What draws the line between pretend and what is?  What is fact or fiction?  I think fact and fiction are subjective and based upon one's chosen point of view.

In that light, what I elect to elucidate may be a compilation of such sharings, so I apologize in advance if things get confusing ... ;)

This month has been about inviting oooo and ahhhhs. In doing so, I've learned along the way: Whatever you seek shall come to you provided you have faith and get out of your own way. It's been fun and precarious.

On All Hallows' Eve, when the veil between the worlds was at it's thinnest, I broke my own rule and kissed what I deemed forbidden ... Though the intellect inspired much trepidation, I decided to make an exception to the rule after sifting through what I felt ... The day following, I was gifted with a wondrous bouquet of flowers, radiating colors of pinks, purples and lots of pretty!

Trying to find a place to re-nest, I've relocated my blog, choosing to currently replace the one with the below icon with this "Wonderfully at Large" blog.

I'm going through one of my newest book purchases called "Inner Excavation." It doesn't have new concepts, it just has an inviting quality that inspires me to want to be more diligent with exploring myself through photography, poetry and mixed media.

Who are you? I'm someone attached to my Pollyanna glasses ;P

How do I nurture myself? With chocolate, music and dance.

Who or what inspires you? Love; friends; sunny and soft breezy days; books and movies

How did you find your creative voice? Journaling and being pleasantly surprised by some of what surfaces.

I live in an eternal present filled with an everlasting good

I’m aggravated by feeling bottled up with stagnation. I’m not moving forward or so it seems. I need to paint a picture of how I would like to see my life.

I want love to surround and permeate my whole being. I want it permanently that way with no cares. The only emotions I want to feel are excitement, eagerness, happiness, buoyancy ... I want to wake up and say yes to life, to living, to coloring me and all I see as happy. To relinquish any thoughts of separation toward anything or anyone.

I want all to love me and I want to see the love in all.

I want to bathe in the glory of wonder, of how wonderful life is, people are.
　
I read this (I can't recall where) and want to put it here for future reference:

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not arrived, and I live in an eternal present filled with an everlasting good. There is nothing unhappy or morbid in my consciousness. I have no fear of yesterday, nor do I anticipate tomorrow with anything other than enthusiastic expectation. Everything good in my experience shall create my future. I have no fear in looking backward or forward, but realize the eternal day in which I now live. Today is big with hope fulfilled, with love and life well lived. Tomorrow will provide its own blessings.

If ever

I’ve continued my morning pages, and sometimes wonder if blogging here also is simply redundant ... or worth it ... ( ...?)

[edited via omissions]

Zip-A-Dee Doo Da

I could never understand why some enjoy cooking ... not saying I do now, especially when the chore of clean-up follows. But when a special taste clicks with my tongue and there's no other way to satisfy it, motivation comes knocking. I'm stuck on the grilled eggplant and portobello recipe.

The newest books I've come across are about focusing on the positive, always ... I guess in a way it's about disciplining the mind to focus on what you want, always -- not want you don't, or you'll get more of the same ... I wish it were easier when hormones and pain are afoot, when energy levels are low, when traumatic events occur and when adverse thoughts dominate. Like passing up certain foods, I will endeavor to pass on unsavory thoughts and only pick the best; the ones that feel good.

"Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you."

In this eternal, unfolding moment I am filled with an expectancy of good things.

I've spent a good deal of my weekend watching DVD's. Anyway, this pic is of me watching several amusing scenes. I spent all day in my jammies, clean-faced and happy.

I have also spent a great deal of my time reading.  The novel I'm reading now is called "The Sugar Queen."  One character has someone living at the bottom of her closet who tries to give her good advice.  Another character is followed around by books.  LOL!  Anytime she turns around a pertinent book will be next to her.  When she tries to ignore or get rid of it, it continues to show up different places like coming out of her cereal box in the morning.  She now has a whole storage of books that have "showed up" through the years.   Ah, if that were only me... imagine how much money I could save, since books are such a love of mine, lol. 

Ahhhh, just heard the pleasing sound of nearby wildlife: a limpkin; yet when I look to see where it's at, I instead see a green heron and a great blue heron =) ... I so love where I live!

I have started drawing again, a little at a time so as not to strain anything. The inevitability of the drawing's completion is proportionate to the desire that spawned it. Don't mind the last sentence; more like a footnote to myself.

Ahhh to the dawning of a new day as I looked out my back door earlier this morning:

Lookie what I found, with lyrics even ... come sing with me! You just must ;P

In-between

... Stuff on Youtube has continued to induce, laughter, tears and the in-between ...

"Above all, do not lose your desire to walk.  Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness.  I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it."  ~ Soren Kierkegaard

"The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it."  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

p.s. Comments unnecessary ... just marking time in my blog :)

To know

Reading Creative Mind by Ernest Holmes, the Science of Mind guy ... very empowering messages. Just think and know, and the Universe will match what you truly think and know.

I know today will be filled with happiness and empowering excitement and filled with beauty and love. I’m surrounded by all that is uplifting and I have loving connections. I live an easy, free-spirited life, filled with creative endeavors. I am dripping with talent in art like drawing and watercolor, and my writing skills are my most prized. ☺

Faith forward ...

Within the safe and lonely confines of my version of a romantically set boidoir, I fell emotionally. Luckily my huggable bears, Theodore and Sedgwick were there to soften the blow.

Perhaps if I were flourishing in my art the way I intended, I’d feel better; but for now, I’m stuck in passivity. I'm wanting to blame victim-hood of wrist pain, or energetic issues ... but ultimately all are excuses.

I’m lowering the bar of what it takes to feel content and that is to simply choose to be happy with what is.

I thought of Bri and wondered what if any, loneliness befell him. Which made me dream of him. I dreamt he wanted me to read him bedtime stories to make up for lost time.

Perhaps its all growing pains as I get acclimated to yet another job and the changes of truly being solo ... I’m very much thankful to my friends who fill in the gaps and make me feel like I matter.

I would really love to go abroad ... particularly Europe ... specifically Florence and Tuscany. Desperately, in need of a change in scenery. Although, during my drive to work this morning, I drove past looming columns of overhanging trees that framed the road.  This offered a very scenic and relaxing tone to the day ... It made me appreciate where I am right now, in my home-based paradise.

I have to remember not to resist the flow of change.   Faith forward ...

Late Bloomer

"Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well."  ~ Quote shared by Tammy

It seems I've been filling my hours with shopping and cleaning.  How is it possible for one person to require so much clean-up? 

I had my masseuse work on the muscles to relieve the corresponding pressure, but the relief is short-lived.  Oh well...

When Laura made a comment about those who collect/are collectors, I breathed a sigh of relief, being thankful I held no such inclination(s) ... only to realize I do: specialty books!  I guess it makes sense for one who fancies words the way I do.

About books, I may well be close to owning all how-to books on watercolor.  Plus, I also have the latest watercolor magazine.  I surrounded myself with 4 of the books last night, trying to find parallels in instruction. 

Even after our visit to the art store, I'm still missing a few brushes (which are expensive, btw) and whatnot, and until my set is complete, I'll continue learning what I can, inspire myself and plan for upcoming projects.

Laura shared this inspiring article that keeps me from getting discouraged for getting a late start in my pursuit of art:

"Where our most fervent selves are engaged at the peak of our capacity there is rapture."

The way I see it, we may bloom different aspects of ourselves each era of our life.  Through mid-life, I aspire to bloom as a prolific artist in as many mediums I can ... We shall see ;)

Here's a fun song / fun video by Yael Naïm called New Soul

Getting high

Liking my new job!

This is me, high on kava. Tammy took this pic last night at the kava place, walking distance from the beach. She makes quite the photographer.

I've been a Youtube junkie these days and found the following gems, the tunes of which have stayed with me:

Lighthouse Family: Catchy tune that makes me want to sing along, especially about feeling high (on kava,lol).



Ingrid Michaelson: This tune makes me feel like I'm in Paris in a coffeehouse with a cigarette in hand :) ( even though I don't smoke ;P )



Off to play now! ☺

Dose of Culture

Additional scenes from this week:

~ My art studio set up ~

~ Parmesian Squash Cakes (preferring more cheese and less shallots) ~

From my trip to the Flagler Museum:

~ Front of Flagler Museum ~

~ Opulence to the left ~

~ and opulence to the right ~

~ Lion head which is a symbol of the sun ~

~ Me, taking in the gloriousness of it all ...

Most recent fascinations:

•  The reign of Queen Victoria with Prince Albert (after watching Young Victoria) 
• Accomplishments of Henry Morrison Flagler (recently inspired after a visit to his prior house turned museum)

After my exposure to the paintings from the museum, I skimmed through general paintings of old and made a modest list of some of my favorites:

Painter: John William Waterhouse
St. Cecilia
The Danaides
Psyche opening the Golden Box
A Tale from Decameron
Destiny
The Shrine
Fair Rosamund
Pandora

Painter: Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema
The Finding of Moses
Vain Courtship
The Baths of Caracalla (love)

Painter: William Adolphe Bouguereau
The Dance (love)
Two Girls (Childhood Idyll) (love)