Expressions

I ate a small bag’s worth of Doritos as a mid-morning snack; had cooked food for lunch; chased that down with a bag of M&M’s; and am concluding my afternoon with a sugar-free Red Bull. So aside from ingesting a bunch of dead food devoid of life force and enzymes, I’ve ingested preservatives and chemicals my body doesn’t recognize. I haven’t fainted or broken out in hives. I still have my wits about me. The price I pay will be for how I feel, and I will probably feel it at any moment ... but you know what? It’s all good. I am grateful for each moment I can see it for what it is: the blessing of another chance. Another chance to choose differently, think differently, and feel differently. What makes now unique however, is that I am taking a vacation from guilt. I’m so tired of finding every reason to feel guilty about SOMETHING. That sucks my life force and is completely unnecessary. I do it unconsciously all the time, so I’m making a pact to not feel guilty once I’m aware that guilt has taken hold. This applies to every area of my life. I will ride each moment out for the moment it is, and if it doesn’t flow as intended, I’ll allow the flow to take me where it will. No point in fighting it. And then I’ll just pick up where it drops me off.

Last night, I cleaned my personal space around the house. It was unplanned -- the best kind. I guess that’s where the flow took me. Once I got started, I could not stop. I was cleaning in between sets of my workout. The down side was my workout lasted way too long. The upside, was I was able to accomplish both. Now, I have to do some fine tune cleaning.

In this moment, I envision working out hard tonight and getting my laundry done.

In this moment, I envision the best outcome with the psychologist tomorrow night. I’ve no idea what to expect since I’ve never seen one before.

In this moment, I expect to smile as I read my book tonight, while snuggled under the sheets.

In this moment, I anticipate my heart expanding as I kiss each of my pets.

In this moment, I eagerly look forward to stronger relationships with the chosen few contacts on my Flickr account.

In this moment, I mentally embrace my baby and send him blessings of positivity, peace and happiness.

In this moment, I am happy to have the bond that I do with my Hunny.

In this moment, I am content with the support and love around me.

In this moment, I am thankful for the ability to express.