Calling for Clarity

I need to live with integrity. I need to have a clear sense of purpose. I need to stop floundering around directionless. I need to meditate more. These are in fact needs. Now what the heck am I going to do about it all?

Sometimes I’m crystal clear in these areas, but at the moment I’m murky. Murky is not fun.

I started looking at and working with the pictures I took this weekend. Some made me laugh and some made me curse. There are limitations, and I need to pinpoint what they are. I know one was the overcast weather. But I think a great deal has to do with my not knowing my camera well enough. Also, I came to the regrettable conclusion that I’m just gonna’ have to consider investing more than I had intended. I strive to get the clearest, cleanest shots possible and unless I do what I just stated, I will have to live in limitation which is not an alternative. And why do I want these amazing shots? Self-satisfaction, first and foremost; to share with others who appreciate them; become adept enough to consider myself a professional. By professional, I mean being confident enough with my stuff to market it. I may never market my babies, but I want to feel that they are of marketing quality. There – I just listed a crystal clear purpose.

Now about writing ... crap; I fade in and out of it, and I don’t know why it’s so hard to stay on track. I’m serious about it, I’m just afraid of it. I need to drop the fear and just fall in love with it. I need to eradicate the critic and just write. For what purpose? Because it feeds me in intellectual and creative ways.

About meditating ... sometimes I feel like I need the perfect set of circumstances in order to sit quietly for 15 minutes. Evidently, the perfect set of circumstances are scarce. Perfectionism is a handicap. It’s another thing I need to eradicate, as it just gets in my blasted way. Why meditate? Because it calms my mind and helps me focus and stay balanced.

About my raw food path ... Well, my whole objective for that is to *feel* good, and to know it’s a way of self-loving. When I ate those cookies yesterday, it did not make me feel good, so I sabotaged my objective. I need to stop becoming my worst enemy.

I exercised last night. Exercise comes easy to me because, well, I don't know why. It just does. Thank God for the small stuff :)

I need to stop being a conflicted person, as this fritters away energy I could be directing toward my wants. I call for clear desires, laser focus and drive and inspired action. Yes. Yes, indeed.